Pitched with the clever tagline “shaken not slurred,” Curious Elixirs are herbal-based, non-alcoholic libations inspired by popular craft cocktails. Think hibiscus Dark & Stormies or “dry 5-spice citrus concoctions.” They’re the brainchild of a Brooklyn-based bartender (quelle surprise!), are blended in small batches, and come ready-to-drink in 12-ounce brown glass bottles — no additional ingredients or mixing required. In addition to being booze-free, these “soft ‘tails” contain no sugar, gluten, dairy, nuts, or GMOs. Just a smooth blend of herbs, roots, botanicals, and cold-pressed juices to lift your spirits and briefly make the idea of hitting the clubs actually sound like fun again. While there will eventually be three varieties, only one is currently for sale. And, for some reason, Curious Elixirs is being very coy about the flavor: It’s simply described as “complex, smooth, dry, bitter. And of the herbaceous persuasion.” Ummmm… delicious. Maybe? Either way, you can buy them by the 8-pack or the case, although they also offer a subscription plan where a crate of cocktails will automatically show up on your doorstep every month. At $5 a pop, they’re not cheap, but can you really put a price on drinking a stink eye-free beer when you get home from work? Buy Now $40 per 8-pack
